I don’t know if anyone will ever love this monster.
I don’t know if I want them to.
I feel they’d be better off without me. “They” being the future wife and children to whom I want to be husband and father. I’m a simple man, with simple needs. But I’m also a simple beast. A wolverine. A hulk. A knight of the moon. I don’t know if I’m crazy, crazy strong, or if my past is something I can come to understand. But I hope sun’s reflection at night can guide me to something true; something real. And though I think of myself as simple, I’m incredibly complex. Relative sobriety has taught me to appreciate the moment much more than I have ever before. But it has also left me questioning things larger than my life and left me wondering if my role is to pull over to the side and let the world pass or run with it, pick up speed, and support others in their quest to be good.
Am I overthinking things?
Am I underthinking things?
What is my grand scheme role? To write? To act? To love? To direct?
To quest to be good? Yes.