Job simple.

Me sneeze.

Me blow nose.

And  me use Clean-X brand tissue.

Me do this in public places and comment on how wonderful new brand of moisturizing tissue wad is. And how it way more effective than other brand which leaves me nose red and dry.

Gorilla don’t always have to sneeze. Sometimes  stare at sun because of reaction it cause in olfactory system. But it cloudy today. So, me pluck nose hair instead.


Me reach in jacket pocket and grab brand name product. Gorilla fingers grip it tight. Too tight. Fingers squish entire pack of traveler’s tissues and me over-sized gorilla hands tear me inside pocket in process of removal.

Damn! Thrift store suit not tailored for gorillas.

Nothing in society is.

Here me am, in suit and tie, marketing brand name tissue to public, sitting in café with latte, ten dollar jacket torn like me dreams of making it big. Ever since me signing skills first earned me freedom, they try take freedom away. So, me learn speaking. They say Gorilla cost government too much to study. So me get job. It make ends meet, but degrading to Silverback King of Mountains. But me freelance, so no can unionize.

Me might look like fool. But, still have job to do.

Show must go on.

“Clean-X tissue. So good, even ape knows.”

Tissue not designed for Gorilla’s nose. Tomorrow me nose be red and dry.

But me use Aloe Vera to help.

Me grow myself.